Billie’s Story: how ABS support helped through trauma and bereavement

When my husband, Tony, tragically passed away through suicide without any warning my life and my daughter’s lives changed beyond recognition.

 

My husband, an Architect, was a very successful and popular man who adored our two daughters. We had just moved to a beautiful new home and were financially secure (I am a teacher); we were lucky that money had never been an issue. His sudden passing was completely out of the blue and knocked me and our daughters into complete darkness.

Our desperate situation was further compounded when our life insurance policy refused to pay out. As we tried to cope with the grief and trauma, I also had to contend with how I was going to afford to keep our house, how I was going to pay our mortgage and bills. I was unable to work at first, and going from two salaries to one had a huge impact on our finances. I began to fight the insurance company’s decision but having to deal with that on top of losing my husband; it was a very dark, bleak time.

It was at this point that I think a friend suggested contacting ABS. At first, I paused as I didn’t think it was appropriate as I am not an Architect. I had also already lost everything and didn’t think anyone could help. When I did finally reach out, ABS was a real ray of hope and light. Helen [Welfare Officer] is a wonderful woman and showed such compassion and care. I was astounded with the level of support ABS was able to offer me. They helped me financially which took the pressure off for a few months but also the level of empathy and kindness they showed me while I was dealing with such trauma and bereavement gave me strength.

My husband showed no prior warning or signs that he was struggling mentally. He was working long hours and getting little sleep but did not fit the profile of someone who would take their own life. It shows it could happen to anyone and how important mental health is. The work that ABS does to support the profession is amazing.

When I talk about my story it always feels like I am talking about someone else, but the pain is real and there is no getting away from it. It doesn’t seem that two years has passed and I know I will never get over losing the person I love but ABS was there for me and words cannot express the level of gratitude I have for the support that ABS offers, not just for my family but for everyone within architectural community. I won’t ever forget that.”