As a result of work burnout, the end of a relationship and difficult family relationships, I had been dealing with depression, chronic pain and blackouts – because of all this, I had to give up work in March 2018 as I was feeling continuously sick. It had got to the point where I was unable to leave the house and spent my life largely indoors for over a year, seeing no friends.
One of my siblings, also an architect, had been encouraging me to contact the Architects Benevolent Society. I was very hesitant, as I did not believe anyone would be able to help me. I was convinced that was what my life would be like, until I died. I was entertaining awful thoughts, although I never actually got to the point where I planned to end things.
You read these type of stories online and think “Oh, poor them”…but you never think that, one day you would become the person who desperately needs help, that others will read about like you readers are doing right now.
I finally completed the form on ABS’ website almost on a hunch, and Aidan [Welfare Officer] called me back that same day. And…we just started talking. It was a simple thing – we were just talking. Aidan asked me probing questions, but in a very non-threatening and easy-going manner.
It felt good to talk. He spent quite some time getting to know me and my situation that day, and then looked at what practical steps he and ABS could take to help me in the most effective and quick way. While I was accepting Universal Credit at this point, it only covered rent and bills – so I was struggling to provide necessities such as food and the help I needed for my chronic pain. My savings were depleting very fast and I had absolutely no idea what I’d do once I’d ran out.
Within two days, ABS arranged for a grant to be paid into my account, which helped me access physiotherapy and pay for food. I was also referred to regular counselling through Anxiety UK. At that point, I’d already depleted the 6 sessions offered by the NHS – I had a great therapist, but stopping the sessions after 6 weeks was almost as hard as starting them, and I felt very alone again, with no therapeutic support and no one to speak to.
This package of support that ABS put together for me eventually enabled me, within 6 months, to gain a job which was temporary, but which I enjoyed immensely. I was slowly able to start living my life again.
Fast forward one year, and disaster struck again when I lost my job due to COVID-19, like so many other people – but ABS was there for me again! This time, they were able to refer me to Renovo for employment support. The work I was able to do with the coach I was assigned was truly incredible. They helped me build up my confidence, understand what I was capable of and what I had to offer. They took into consideration my future career goals and other quality of life aspects including future family plans. Very soon after being referred to Renovo – I was able to achieve a dream job, a role I never previously felt qualified for and which catapulted my earnings threefold compared to my previous roles.
Before I started working with Renovo, I wasn’t sure it would be able to offer me much at all. I already knew with my eyes closed how to write CVs and attend interviews, but ABS gave me the encouragement and support to take that extra leap and promotion.
A year ago I couldn’t walk because of the pain and I couldn’t see a positive future, or any future frankly. Today, I have a dream role, a new relationship, a healthy positive mindset, an active lifestyle, and healthier family relationships.
There have been more setbacks, for sure – but such is life. We’ve had immense heartbreak very recently, as one of my parents died last week, during the COVID pandemic. It’s very early days in my and my family’s mourning, but I have solid therapeutic and family support to get me through it, and I know that Aidan is always at the end of the phone if I feel I’m struggling.
We don’t do anything alone in this life – and I am truly beyond thankful for the support of my family, my coach at Renovo and to Aidan and the team at ABS for giving me the strength to get to where I am now. ABS was the catalyst that enabled me to start my recovery, and they have been there for me ever since, even if just for a chat over the phone or a catch-up e-mail.
I am glad to be in a position where I can now give back to the community that gave me support when I needed it most.
We only have this life, and we must make the absolute best we can of it. If you or your family are struggling, please call ABS – I promise you, things will get better.
*name has been changed for confidentiality